These Phrases given by A Dad That Rescued Me as a Brand-New Parent

"I believe I was just trying to survive for twelve months."

Ex- reality TV cast member Ryan Libbey anticipated to cope with the demands of fatherhood.

But the truth rapidly proved to be "very different" to what he'd imagined.

Life-threatening health problems around the birth resulted in his partner Louise admitted to hospital. Abruptly he was forced into becoming her chief support in addition to caring for their baby boy Leo.

"I handled all the nights, each diaper… each outing. The duty of mother and father," Ryan explained.

After eleven months he burnt out. It was a conversation with his parent, on a park bench, that led him to understand he required support.

The straightforward words "You're not in a healthy space. You must get some help. In what way can I help you?" paved the way for Ryan to express himself truthfully, look for assistance and find a way back.

His story is far from unique, but rarely discussed. Although the public is now more accustomed to discussing the strain on moms and about postpartum depression, not enough is spoken about the challenges dads face.

Asking for help is not weak to seek assistance

Ryan feels his difficulties are linked to a larger inability to talk among men, who often absorb damaging perceptions of masculinity.

Men, he says, tend to think they must be "the harbour wall that just gets smashed and remains standing with each wave."

"It is not a sign of failure to ask for help. I didn't do that fast enough," he adds.

Mental health expert Dr Jill Domoney, a specialist who studies mental health pre and post childbirth, notes men can be reluctant to admit they're having a hard time.

They can believe they are "not a legitimate person to be seeking help" - particularly in preference to a mum and baby - but she stresses their mental state is just as important to the family.

Ryan's heart-to-heart with his dad offered him the chance to ask for a respite - going on a couple of days overseas, away from the family home, to gain perspective.

He understood he had to make a change to pay attention to his and his partner's emotions alongside the day-to-day duties of looking after a newborn.

When he was honest with Louise, he saw he'd failed to notice "what she needed" -holding her hand and listening to her.

'Parenting yourself

That insight has changed how Ryan sees being a dad.

He's now penning Leo regular notes about his feelings as a dad, which he aspires his son will look at as he grows up.

Ryan hopes these will assist his son to more fully comprehend the vocabulary of emotional life and make sense of his approach to fatherhood.

The concept of "parenting yourself" is something rapper and songwriter Professor Green - also known as Stephen Manderson - has also strongly identified with since becoming a dad to his son Slimane, who is now four.

When he was young Stephen did not have consistent male a father figure. Despite having an "incredible" connection with his dad, deep-held trauma caused his father had difficulty managing and was "in and out" of his life, complicating their relationship.

Stephen says repressing emotions resulted in him make "bad actions" when he was younger to alter how he was feeling, turning in drink and drugs as a way out from the pain.

"You turn to things that are harmful," he explains. "They may temporarily change how you are feeling, but they will ultimately cause more harm."

Tips for Coping as a New Dad

• Talk to someone - if you're feeling swamped, confide in a friend, your other half or a therapist how you're feeling. It can help to ease the pressure and make you feel less alone.
• Keep up your interests - continue with the things that made you feel like you before the baby arrived. This might be playing sport, socialising or a favourite hobby.
• Don't ignore the physical health - a good diet, physical activity and if you can, resting, all contribute in how your emotional health is faring.
• Connect with other new dads - hearing about their journeys, the messy ones, along with the good ones, can help to put into perspective how you're feeling.
• Understand that asking for help is not failure - taking care of your own well-being is the most effective way you can care for your household.

When his father eventually died by suicide, Stephen understandably struggled to accept the loss, having had no contact with him for many years.

In his current role as a parent, Stephen's determined not to "perpetuate the cycle" with his boy and instead provide the stability and emotional guidance he lacked.

When his son is about to have a tantrum, for example, they practise "releasing the emotion" together - processing the emotions safely.

Each of Ryan and Stephen state they have become improved and more well-rounded men since they acknowledged their pain, transformed how they communicate, and taught themselves to control themselves for their children.

"I'm better… sitting with things and managing things," states Stephen.

"I put that down in a message to Leo the other week," Ryan adds. "I expressed, on occasion I feel like my purpose is to guide and direct you what to do, but in reality, it's a dialogue. I'm learning as much as you are in this journey."